Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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