he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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