I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
