THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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