Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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