I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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