similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
