I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
