my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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