just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
