Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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