k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
