My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
