Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
