Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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