I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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