Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
