i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
