I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
