I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
