The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
