I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
