porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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