lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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