Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
