I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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