at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
