am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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