i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
