Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
