he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
