sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
