We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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