I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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