I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
