Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
