this boner is exhausting
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you inspire me to be a worse person
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
