CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
