He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
