so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
