That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
