Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Damn victory sex feels great
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
