I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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