ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
