this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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