Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
