if you like me you must not know who I am
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
