we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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