You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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