tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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