idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
