You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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